Dispair a knocking?!?!?!

Yesterday was another day of faxing resumes, putting out flyers and trying to stay upbeat about the fact it's been 5 months since I've worked and had any income and realizing drastic changes HAD to begin.

Of course when you have your elderly Mother living with you, you now have another person to think about and consider. It's a horrible thing to think of an 81 year old woman having to live in 'limbo' for a few months until we can get her into a low income apartment again that she can COMFORTABLY afford.

The whole reason she moved in with me was to save money and because when we planned all of this I was EMPLOYED...then all that crashed down around me a couple of months later and now I am in a panic.

Of course for someone like myself, who has an education, has always worked HARD and never been afraid of challenges or doing what it takes...this past 8 or 9 months has been heart wrenching on numerous fronts.

I moved back from the midwest with a promise of long term work, which was a lie, but the move cost me thousands and the attorneys who 'hired' me have no heart, they are attorneys and will steamroll over people as they see necessary.

Then I jumped back into real estate, worked 80 hours a week on leads and possibilities, had 3 escrows, only to have a broker that was less then ethical keep thousands in commissions!

But wait, that's not enough, there is more....but I'm tired of negative people and unethical, mean spirited people, who are in a small position of self-imposed 'power' and whom use this 'power' to conquer and DESTROY.

So now it is October 22nd and I will be homeless in 5 weeks, unless I get work NOW.

I fax 40-50 legal resumes daily within San Diego county, but I now here for every real JOB in my field, there are 600 applicants!!!

I've gone to restaurant after restaurant, but it's very clear that there is AGE discrimination (under 30 and cute works and I've not seen 30 in quite a while now!!!) and race discrimination (reverse discrimination)! When one with 15 years of some of the best experience you can get in F&B cannot get a job and the likes of IHOP or DENNY'S (not that Denny's has ever had issues with hiring and discrimination!!!), one needs to shake their head in disbelief!

My love is alternative therapies, bodywork (am a massage therapist) of humans, equines and canines and sadly this has dropped off due to the crappy economy, but I keep getting out there and meeting people and handing out cards and other information.

So no one can tell me that I'm not doing enough!!!

Stay tuned, right now I need to get some coffee in me!!!! These posts will no doubt get juicier so to speak as when you write from your raw emotions and heart and you face things that seem incomprehensible...well, we will see.

Namaste'

Tman here

Hi! I had another birthday....I'm feeling my age lately, but still enjoy life and Mom is good to all of us.

I worry about her...alot lately. She is such a kind and good human and the past year has dealt her one blow after another and yet she keeps smiling and loving us so much.

She took us to the water today so I could swim and get some stress off my legs and back...

I'll be writing more...need to tell some of my tales in life...

Closing in on devastation in life

Seems that the past 8 months have been a study in not losing one's mind.

Tirawa turned 12 on October 17, 2009 and that is my happiness in life! I am thankful and blessed for each day he is with me and know his days are getting shorter.

Winston and Yogi are thriving and between them on the two horses, I barely maintain my sanity in these incredibly hard and challenging times.

This blog is going to be one written from my heart and Tman will help and do some posts no doubt and maybe the terriers will as well.

But right now I am hurting...to the depth of my very soul and to a point I wonder if life is worth moving through....but I've never quit, never given up...but it becomes harder with each obstacle from mean spirited and vindictive wacked out people thrown at me.

What is next?!?!?!

Thursday....

Greetings All!

Well a rather uneventful day on the home front for all of us. Mom took us to the park and we wandered around and met some new friends, but none were much fun.

You know those terriers...they have to make an issue of everything. They were running hither and yon draggin' Mom all over because they just have to CHASE things....me, I'm pretty content sauntering along and enjoying the cool morning air!

Guess we are going away on Saturday...terriers get to do a trial...they just can't be content hanging out, they have to DO something! Ah well, let's me have my Mom all weekend!

Well, this is short and pretty boring! Tman out.

Let's Begin Once Again!

Wow, it's been a long time since I (Tirawa) have written on my own blog!

That will end tonight....Mom wants me to write more, so I'm going to cuz there are alot of fun stories from the past to share here and more no doubt in the future to begin each day!

Winston and I got Yogi. Mom went to California while we were in Missouri and brought him back..he is a puppy!

It's been 5 months since he joined our household and man oh man, alot for this old wolf to talk about!!!

Missouri this past summer wasn't bad, but it just wasn't for us. I sure did like it when it got cold in September, but the house had alot of stairs and wasn't a 'friendly' home and Mom was stressed alot.

We have ended back in California and after one bad condo for 3 months, we are now I think settled into a cool home with a yard, barkin' dogs (but not bad) and someplace I can just kick back and watch those crazy terriers play!

Yogi terrier squeaks! Yep, he actually squeaks when I apply pressure!

Well, I just wanted to say high again and I'll see ya here often!!! Tman

Yogi by Tirawa

So we all decided to get another brother for our home and Mom went to California to get Yogi. Yogi is another Jack Russell Terrier who came from Oregon and he's related to my other brother Winston.

Wasn't fun that Mom left us for a few days, never is fun when she's gone and doesn't take us. Lindsay stayed with us and scratched our bellies, walked us and most importantly FED us while Mom was gone. Lindsay is cool, she is living here for a while and helps people to recover from bad injuries, we all like her.

Well, Mom got back really late, Winston and I were sound to sleep thinking she'd be gone another night, but in the house she comes and boy were were surprised and then really just happy to have her back!

She took us for a walk and took Yogi out of my truck and he growled at us and boy it was late at night and me and Winston are thinking, not a good way to 'fit' in. So Mom put him back in my truck and we went for a nice walk and got scratches and love and she brought Yogi in the house after we got back.

He's a pretty cute puppy. It'll be fun to train him to my way of thinkin' and watch him grow. He and Winston will be able to play alot which is cool, I can supervise!

Mom's takin' pictures and guess she'll post some up here somewhere along the line...she's not very good at this internet thing with creating stuff, but we are all going to work on it.

As Gustav Nears the U.S.

It's still a tad difficult to wrap my head around another 'Katrina'. We now have a mothership diary up and going on DailyKos and slowly links and important information is popping up on it.

I will also add links and information here as I either research it, or am supplied it by those of you in the trenches searching.

This isn't an exciting blog, but it'll be moving right along with this hurricane and perhaps we can help some lives....

I wish for all in the path of this storm that they will be safe and secure when it hits and that America will embrace you this time and assist you to recover and live in dignity.

Namaste

Barbara, Tirawa and Winston